Proud of me..

I'm so glad I found this group.. I was hoping there was one somewhere I didn't know about. Flashback to 2014 I weighed 245lbs at 20, this was after a 50lb loss. I felt great better than I ever had. When I got pregnant the first time I lost weight at first from the constant nausea but after I lost that baby I went up to 300lbs. I literally ate a can of frosting a day.. I felt so horrible about myself about my life. 7 months later I got pregnant again and lost that one on my birthday. March 26th. I'll never forget that. So here I am 21 years old with two losses under my belt. I was depressed to say the least. Lost my sex drive, which drives my so crazy, started working a lot and got myself down to 275lbs. I know it's not a huge accomplishment but I felt better about myself. I absolutely gave up the thought of having babies didn't want to sit around and wonder if I was ever going to bring another life into this world. And I remember sitting at a friends house and saying girl my period is a month late.. I have pcos but since I lost all that weight when I was younger i've always had regular periods. August 29th I hadn't had my period since June and I knew but didn't want to know at the same time.. The only reason I ever tested was because my boyfriends birthday was coming up and we wanted to drink. So on August 29th I took my third pregnancy test ever in my life and when I saw those lines I was mortified. I knew my baby wouldn't make it, why would this one when the other two were just as innocent? So I procrastinated didn't go to the doctor til I was 12 weeks and as they tried so hard to find a heartbeat with that Doppler I kept thinking "Your not gonna find it! Just tell me what I already know so I can go home, obviously my baby isn't alive!" It took them 30 minutes but when I heard that heartbeat at 170bpm my life changed. I was still scared don't get me wrong and I took on the position of if I don't know I can't be hurt. So I went to an ultrasound at 14 weeks.. My baby was beautiful I got a picture of his face and everything.. But I didn't go back to the doctor I really believed as long as I had no bleeding or bad cramps I was fine baby was fine then I started feeling him move and that made me really believe he was fine. A trip to the er for a really bad cold gave me the opportunity to hear his heartbeat again it was 160. I'm 23 weeks pregnant with what I'm 99% positive is a boy, but I go Jan 7th to find out for sure. Sorry this is so long but I wanted to share my story and hear about you ladies. I'm due April 28th and I would LOVE a plus size mommy friend!

So I'm Juanita and this is our story!