Gettng close to my due date

I wasn't really sure where to post this, however I'm glad to have my glow family to express how I feel about my situation my fake friends & family doesn't seem to show any concern. Welp I got pregnant with twins after TTC for 18 years yes 18 years I have 2 children son 19 & daughter 18 I've never been pregnant since always ways I went to my 20 week appointment to learn my twins hearts stopped beating I had to have them Aug 12,2015 my due date was Jan 23,2016 I gave birth to 2 precious Lil boys which where already deceased. My heart is broken into pieces its been 5 months and I have no answer to why or how I've been giving to run arounds about the final of the autopsy.today I'm feeling a Lil gloomy realizing I would be preparing to give birth soon but I'm no longer pregnant I'm I wrong for feeling this way should I let go and let god or is it normal because they were my babies I know it was 5 months ago but family and fake friends reactions be like its over they gone or I wonder why she still dwelling on it or ughhhh here she come with her pitty party. I wonder why no one understands my pain