I want to Start off by saying please don't say "leave him" . I love my dear SO & I wouldn't trade him for the world.

With that being said....

Ladies, I need help. For the past few months, I've been feeling like shit. I've been feeling ugly, unappreciated, worthless & just bad all around. I guess some of it is my fault. I haven't been able to do anything with myself because I have no car or job. Now, my SO is a wonderful man & I met him with I was 14 (am 18 now) so I have known him for quite some time, but lately.... I feel like he hasn't been treating me the way men are supposed to be treating their girlfriends/fiancés/wives. Like, you know, taking them out, going out to eat somewhere, spending time together, having intimate time, all of that. We went out to the movies for the FIRST time a couple of weeks ago. Now in my opinion, money isn't an issue with us, because we live with his mom & she helps us out with a few things (*cough cough* food, water, transportation *cough cough*) so we have a little bit of extra money to spend. I don't see anything wrong with spending 15$-20$ on a movie, but my SO does. He says "I want to save money." OK I can understand that, but 15-20 dollars isn't a lot. I know it can add up over time, but still. He has been pissing me off to no end & I hate being upset at him because that's my best friend also & who likes being mad at their best friend? Not me 😔

He says that he wants me to step my game up, I feel like I've been the best gf I possibly could be. I cook him meals, I clean our room up, I do our laundry, I clean our pets cage, I buy him little things like chocolates, I give him all of my affection, I play video games with him & so much more.

He does give me affection, but really they are just little pecks & 10 second hugs, he ONLY says "I love you" to me when I'm taking a nap or I'm too busy doing something to answer him. He does cook for me, but I have to beg & plead him to do it. He says that we do everything I want to do, which is a little lie considering the fact that whenever I want to do something besides staying in the house all day(we are home bodies) he says no.

He plays video games all day, which I dont have a problem with because I do the same thing.

& today, he really hurt my feelings. We went to the mall & he ditched me 3 times. I told him that I didn't want him to do that again & I told him how I feel & I guess he listened to me, but still... Who leaves their SO by them self in a mall like that?! After that, we did a little more shopping he noticed that I wasn't in the mood & he said that "I was giving off a vibe like I didn't want him around me." Which is partly true. I didn't want to talk to him at all for what he did. Then we talked about the situation & I just got so heated & upset that I told him he was the problem that I'm having & I don't know how to fix it. & now he won't talk to me 😕 . I know that brought it upon myself when I said that. I don't know how to feel....

I just want to cry...

& if you read the whole thing.... Thank you. . I guess this was more like a rant, but it needed to let out before I said something I couldn't take back...

😢