I know it's been a while since I've written you a letter, but I'm going to say this weather you like it or not. I love you with all of my heart. The thought of you just makes me smile. When I'm next to you I feel like there's nothing that can hurt me. You are my weakness. You are also my strength. You are the reason I stopped hurting myself. You are amazing. I don't know how I could have done any of this without you. I went without you for three and a half years. I don't think I could ever do that again. It would kill me. Literally. You are the best thing that's has ever happened to me. If I ever lost you, I don't know what I would do. I know nothing would actually work with the law between us, but I believe that one day it could. I know that it's been hard to try and do a lot of things, but I know that it will work out somehow. I have a secret will in my mind. It's not that I want to be around you, it's that I need to be around you. You always know what to say and when to say it. When I ask for you honest opinion, you say it. You're not the brightest bulb in everyone's pantry, but you're the brightest one in mine. You're my better half. If someone asks what the best thing about me is, all I need to do is point at you. If I didn't love you, then I wouldn't have a heart. I know this letter is getting kind of sappy. When I think about what it was like on that first hug that I gave you after those three years, I felt something that I had never felt before. I knew that I was going to have something good with you, and we do. Remember how we walked everywhere that first day? That was kool. Remember that one Friday when you met Viv? That was the best night that I had ever had at the time and I knew that I would have way better times than that. That Saturday, we woke up at 6:45am or so and went to the beach. We watched Viv play in the sand while we just sat on the sand and talked while we held hands. That Sunday afternoon, we walked everywhere. Then you brought me to the beach again. We tried to dance for about  two or three minutes. When we stopped, we hugged again. That Monday morning, we got up again to go to the beach. We walked all along the shoreline. We spent almost the whole day there aside from when we had to go back to our own houses to eat. Then at around 8:30 the sunset was amazing. We were playing around just trying to take each other's phones. We grabbed each other's hands and we both pulled and I ended up winning that battle. Hehe. You fell on top of me and I had no problem with it. You really weren't that heavy. We just laid there and then eventually you looked at me after you laid your head on my chest for a while. I just stared into your eyes and you shared that stare with me. I hadn't been able to keep eye contact with you for more than 3 seconds before I had to look away. When we shared that stare, I tried to look away but then you touched my cheek and made me stare at you. Your eyes were so amazing and I hadn't realized it. You kissed me. You were my first kiss. We laid there until it was about 9:15 or so and we kept telling each other that we should stay here a little longer and we just stood up and kissed a few more times. That was a moment that I'm not going to forget. We just walked to the beach and went everywhere until we decided to do something different. On Sunday May 3rd, you decided that you wanted to try fingering. I agreed stupidly and decided that I wasn't ready. Well, we ended up doing it anyway. Then we continued on with our old ways. My mom and sister didn't like it much, but I didn't care if they hated me being out of the house for once. I loved you. Well, we decided that we were going to take it up a notch. On Friday May 29th,  we decided that we were going to have sex. I told you I didn't want to and that I was avoiding you because of it. I was really nervous. Well, the woods was an awkward spot, but it worked. It's was awesome. Just sayin. Then we agreed not to do it again. Tell that to 22 times. Lol. I loved you and I never wanted to stop. I wanted to be with you. Forever. These are memories. You were my first for a lot of things. That's awesome. I know that you need me just as much as I need you. To the world, your just another teenage boy, but to me, you are my world. I need you. I want you. I love you. I want to be with you. I don't care if it's just as friends. I want to be with you until we die. Once again, you are my world and you almost always have been. Let's not stop the memories. Keep'em coming! I love you! Forever and always honey!   

       

                                                      ~C.