Need help

This is embarrassing for me to admit so please be kind! I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and we've been sexually active from the beginning. He lost his virginity to me when he was originally waiting for marriage. I also was waiting for marriage but was in a sexually abusive relationship before with someone else. I know that my current SO and I will get married, but we're both Christians and we know better. We know that we're doing something wrong. But we don't stop. We've talked about it before and how we shouldn't... But I don't know how to have a relationship without sex and all of that. I think it's because of my previous relationship. I just need strength to stop. To recommit myself. We really want to have a special wedding night.. And I feel like the way we're going, it won't be as special as it should. Any advise? I just don't know how to do this.