Stressed eating

First off- when I first met my husband I was at 120.

We gave birth to a beautiful little girl two years ago. It was followed by a miscarriage and ended with an ectopic pregnancy.

I cannot get over it. I feel like I killed my baby :(

I am now at 162. And I have a wide range of food allergies. (Bananas, pineapple, avocados, kiwi, water chestnuts) any suggestions on a healthy shake & food recipes that I could safety eat? And how did you get over the ectopic pregnancy?