Thinking about stopping..


ttc for a while. :'( I'm turning thirty in a few days and I missed my last opportunity to become pregnant in my twenties. I'm cramping horribly and just sad as hell. It's just so unfair and makes no sense. We got the right day and everything. It should have caught. What's wrong with me? Is it him? Both? He doesn't want to get checked..

So I'm thinking about stopping for a bit, because my skin is getting me down a lot and I feel so ugly. Acne just keeps getting worse every cycle. I know I have some messed up hormonal problem because every tww bam I get slammed with acne like clockwork. I'm a spotty, crying mess and I hate it. So I think I'm gonna do another round of Accutane. And get a real examination done to see if maybe I have pcos or something else causing problems. It's just so unfair that the one thing that helps my skin is impossible to take while ttcing.

Idk why I'm posting this. I'm just depressed. Everyone around me is having babies. I can't even manage ONE. I hate my stupid defective body. :( I'm sorry for being a downer.