Losing a preemie
My husband and I were thrilled to find out that we were expecting our first baby, a little girl, with our due date being set for March 23. Everything was going great and then at my 27 week doctors appointment my blood pressure was very high and my urine was showing protein in it. So my doctor sent me straight to the hospital. They conducted multiple tests and monitored my blood pressure. Tests showed that I had developed preeclampsia and an ultrasound showed that nutrients were no longer passing through the umbilical cord to my baby. So the doctor immediately performed an emergency c section.
My daughter was born on December 23 at 4:23pm weighing 1 lb 12 oz at 27 weeks. She was absolutely gorgeous and was very active. She was in the NICU due to being born so early. She was doing fantastic and all of the doctors and nurses always commented how strong and active she was for the first few days. Unfortunately on December 28 her blood pressure went down and the doctors gave her medicine to bring it back up. The medicine was working great and the doctor commented that he was happy with her progress. I was at her bedside when immediately all of her vital sign numbers completely vanished. All of the doctors and nurses rushed to her bedside and worked on her for about 45 mins. Finally the doctor came over to me and told me that he was so sorry that there was nothing else he could do and that he believed it must have been a build up of acid in her chest cavity. He said the only thing he could do now was let me hold her while he removed her breathing tube. I waited for my husband to get to the hospital and a few minutes later I held my daughter for the first time in my arms while her breathing tube was removed and she passed away. I had the hospital chaplain come in and baptize her. A few days later I buried my little girl.
The last few weeks have been so hard. I still cry. But I try to stay positive and look at the good side of things. I am so thankful to have carried her during my pregnancy and to have spent 5 days with her, especially Christmas. I wouldn't take back those 5 days for the world, they mean everything to me. She will always be our little angel and I will always adore her.
My question is this. Has anyone been through something similar? Losing an infant and then deciding to try again? I know that my daughter wouldn't want my husband and I to give up on our dream of having children but I'm very nervous about having another because I so very desperately want to be able to carry it to full term and for the baby to be healthy. I'm spending the next 9 months getting in the best physical condition that I can and then my doctor said it should be safe to try again.
I'm just praying to God that my 2nd pregnancy is safe and successful.
Thanks to anyone who comments with any kind of similar experience and hope for a future pregnancy.