I hate sucking my boyfriends dick!😔😩

So don't get me wrong I love him going down on me, it's great! But I almost always refuse it because I don't want to return the favor. It's just the idea of his dick in my mouth or any guys for that matter is so unpleasant. It may also be that I don't know how to suck dick, my only experience doing it was with this basketball player in college who made me really self conscious about what I did. I love my boyfriend and it makes me sad that sometimes he wants it, but I will stop him from going down on me because I know I'm not going to do the same. And it sucks!  What do you guys do!? Do you think it's okay to let him go down on me and not return the favor? Helpppp!?