Terrible day, hoping for better ones.

Well today was awful. I woke up with pain on my left hip area. Called doc and they wanted me to come in for an ultrasound. No that wasnt the bad part. After my appt i went and checked out a birth center. It was really nice. But it made me start to think about what my labor is going to be like. Me and my husband split the day i found out i was pregnant with our third child. So i message him asking if we could be civil for the kids. And he said he wants to see the boys but wants nothing to do with the pregnancy or the baby. He said he doesnt want to be on the birth certificate or for the baby to have his last name. Where we live he automatically goes on the bc because we are married. But I honestly cant believe I am married to this man. Who he was, or atleast acted to be, was a man who loved having kids, and wanted kids. Who loved me and wanted to spend his life with me. Now i could care less that he didnt hold up on his end of the vows but why does our children have to suffer from his inability to grow up. I really just have been bawling my eyes out. I feel the last 5+ years of my life have been a total lie. I have no clue what my future is going to look like. I just want the best for my babies. And hopefully one day I will find real love and someone who will be a strong positive figure in my kids lives.

I really never thought i would be a single mom to three kids at 24. And i did all of what society tells you is right. I got married, had kids, and tried building a home. And here i am. Guess that doesn't gaurentee anything.