Is he selfish or what?!

Question

I can't remember the last time I got a really great shoulder/back massage from my husband. I don't feel like I should have to ask for them all the time. I often come home at the end of the day with severe neck and shoulder pain, but he just ignores it, when he should be offering to help ease the pain! When I do ask I either get a measly             30 seconds-1 minute with little to no pressure, or I get "what will I get in return". Please tell me I'm not overreacting by calling him selfish. I work in a business where I'm on my feet for most of the day. My husband however is in a business where he GETS to sit for most of the day!

Answer

I think you are way out of line.

Answer

I gave up asking my husband I think it's a male thing. Now I just go for a 90 min massage once a month best treat ever!

Answer

You're expecting him to be a mind reader and a massage therapist? Honey you are in for a very unhappy marriage if these are your expectations. 1. Ask him or 2. Get a Massage Envy membership and have a professional do it. Communication in marriage is essential. You need to remember that he's just a man, not a genie in a bottle.

Answer

If you want something ask for it, don't just expect him to know what you need. If he says what will I get in return, just say "a much happier wife" lol. It could also be that maybe he doesn't feel like he's good at it, or maybe he just doesn't want to do it. Maybe he doesn't like giving massages. If that's the case, ask him for a massage chair for your next birthday, or go out and buy one for yourself. Problem solved. Unless you're simply complaining because subconsciously you feel like he doesn't give you enough attention, that's another story.

Answer

You women are too judgemental. You pick and choose who you give good advice and who you insult. All these women coming on here complaining about something concerning their  husband, yet this one is way out of line? or going to be headed for an unhappy marriage? How? Because she wants her husband to be attentive. You women clearly don't know what a healthy relationship looks like. Its give and take. If you are hurting or express anything your husband is supposed to care! I can't even have tummy trouble without my husband rubbing my tummy or getting me something to ease the pain and HE SHOULD. he is supposed to care about me that's why he is my husband...not fwb not guy I live with...Husband. if he has a backache I'm all over it because I'm going to massage him and rub him down until he either falls asleep or isn't hurting anymore. I SHOULD. IM SUPPOSED TO CARE and I Do. The op wants her husband to be concerned and she isn't wrong for that at all.

Answer

I think you are all being horribly judgemental towards this woman! Who are you to pass judgement on her! We don't know what her situation is. It seems clear to me that her husband is not a very supportive partner and does not appear to care about the fact that she's feeling under the weather. 
I think she's right, her husband is obviously not attuned to her needs or simply is just to self involved to care.
Perhaps a reevaluation of your marriage is in order. If he's neglecting your physical needs, what else is he neglecting?

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Believe it or not sitting all day can make you just as sore as being on your feet all day - I've done jobs of both kinda so I know!! I don't think he's being selfish, he probably just doesn't know what you need. Ask him nicely or offer to swap massages. My husband and I do this and set a timer (usually 15-20 mins each) and it really helps relax us and usually leads to something more because how could it not when your SO is touching you like that?! Haha

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Yeah a husband always supposed to make sure you good on pain especially if you work.. Thats just commonsense... Or he should aleast be wanting to rub you down just because.. We ladies need that affection sometimes.... You are right your not suppose to tell him what and not to do...

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I get that too😑 he's just lazy

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Try suggesting watching a video. That's what my husband and I did the other night. We put on a massage tutorial video so he gave me a massage along with it. And then I returned the favor. You get to learn something and you both get a massage. But you can't expect him to just know when you want a massage and you don't give him anything in return

Is he selfish or what?!

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