Feeling heart broken

Sorry need a rant.....

So me and the other half were talking about getting pregnant and I thought we was on the same page.....until he said he's not bothered if I dnt get pregnant!! Said it would b nice if it happened but not overly bothered if it doesn't happen!!! After the miscarriage two years ago n how many problems I've had since and him getting not pissed off but annoyed at the fact a selfish friend who only wants a baby as an accessory got pregnant I thought he wanted the same as me. I dint take the hormonal pill as treatment offerd for my endometriosis after op to remove it because I thought he was wanting baby like me but may aswell take it now. I Dno if it'd coz of his age (I'm 25 n he's 42. Please don't judge) or what just feel let down coz he never told me before sorry just needed to say it somewhere other than family n friends.