18 weeks to go nervous

With 18 weeks to go I will be having my fourth child 3rd boy 3rd csection and I'm so nervous my 3 year old baby girl stuck with all boys me being a mother of four work school oh and did I mention after 8 years my relationship took a turn for the worst so I'm now doing this alone preparing myself to be alone during birth aw....So much going on sry for my rant