off topic but no one to talk to

some may have seen my other post the other day but long story short for those who didn't, I recently found out my husband was talking to other girls mostly just one tho and he made me think it's been the whole time I was pregnant but it wasn't. after research and looking at phone records it was more recent. in the last month! my baby may not be his and he eventually accepted that and I accepted he was doing what he was doing because of what I did until i found out today that this all started just a few weeks before my due date! and to make it worse he was still texting this girl just a few days before valentine's! I know how bad I hurt him and how what I did was much worse but he waited this long to talk to other people, why couldn't he have waited another month to find out if this baby was his first? and why would he talk to her just a couple days before valentine's? it hurts so much and I'm trying not to be mad and trying to understand because of what I did but I just can't help it maybe it's the hormones not helping. but I just wish I had someone to talk to about this. I got less than a week til my due date and will probably go over but I'm so stressed and depressed and I'm so worried it's going to hurt my baby I'm trying so hard to stay calm for her sake but it's so hard. why couldn't he have just done this 8 months ago I would be more understanding than him just now starting this crap after making me think everything was going to be ok between us. he said he's sorry and he feels like crap just like I do and that he didn't mean anything he said to her or the other girls and that he just wants me and only me and he will never talk to anyone else again but what if the baby isnt his? I think he'll change his mind and leave anyway even tho he said he wants us both no matter the outcome : (

and everyday after I did what I did, I cried and prayed to god to ease his pain and wished I could take back what I did and blamed myself and tried to kill myself just for him to do this now! not looking for sympathy, just trying to find a way to cope and get this off my chest until I can get a counselor.

thank you everyone for the replies! we had a long talk and I feel really good right now. we're both going to work through this! : )