So I had a miscarriage back in March of last year and it has been the hardest thing I've gone through so far. I was only 5 weeks when I lost my angel and people say "it's better that it happened this early" or "how can you love something that wasn't even born" and it killed me Even more to know I had people who are that cruel to think that and know that they were a part of my life. I'm not over my miscarriage. But now I've been blessed with another child and I am 12 weeks today. But what brings me to write this post and vent because I doubt people will really read this. Is that I don't feel the excitement in this pregnancy. I ask myself what kind of person am I for being this way. But it's not the same, I haven't looked at baby names or baby shower ideas or anything baby related. I'm honestly scared that it will be like this my entire pregnancy and I don't know what to do. I've asked myself "am I depressed?" I've kind of brought this topic up with my fiancé and he doesn't know what to say. He'll just hold my hand which is nice but it sucks because like he's said "I'm sucking the fun out of it for him" and I know I am, I don't mean to but what else can I say. I've heard that it can take a while for it to hit me that it could be at my first dr appointment or ultrasound or when the baby is born. Im lost in this whole thing. I've even looked into counseling. I feel stuck.