My story... Advice and Suggestions appreciated.
My husband was military and we have been living apart for the last year. We saw each other every couple of months and just so happened that everytime my window was available for us to try. Before living apart we had tried to conceive for a year with no luck.
In the year apart we saw each other as much as our money would allow and our last and longest spurt of time apart would become 5 months. At the beginning, we knew it was going to be hard and things wouldn't be easy. Especially being in 2 different time zones we knew we were going to have to work a little harder to keep the communication strong.
About 2 months in to the 5 month span, things went south. The amount of time we were spending talking to each other became few and far between. He stopped answering calls and texts. The only time I ever heard from him was when he needed money.
Warranted, I became suspicious after seeing a phone number on our bill that was being talked to quite often during all hours of the day and night. I questioned it but was told that it was a female coworker who had questions about work. I let it go but was still worried in the back of my mind.
The next 3 months would be horrible. I would go days without hearing from him. Our 5 year old would cry and beg to talk to him and he wouldn't answer. I tried every day. Even though he wasn't going to answer, I still called and texted every day. I was finally able to figure out how to view messages inconspicuously.
My worries were not put to rest as their conversations via text were nothing about work. But yet there was nothing for me to say that he was cheating. Emojis, talk of going to the gym, and when he was going to be hanging out with friends. I asked him to stop talking to her and he agreed. The number went ghost from the bill.
Fast forward to the week before his visit, after 5 long months...I was nervous. Anxious. Excited. And worried to finally see my husband. He called every day. Just to check in.
Friday night when he finally gets here, the first thing he says is are you not going to smile? Aren't you happy I'm here? I was in shock overall. I didn't know what to say or how to go about even saying it. I was happy and sad at the same time.
The first few days were great. He focused most of his time on our son and I. He steered clear of his friends (whom we've had disagreements on before). We were intimate everyday. Sometimes more than once. But Wednesday would come and it would be a horrible day.
At the beginning of the day, things started out great and as the evening approached he began to "butter" me up. I could tell it was coming. He wanted to see his friends. He said he would be home at a decent hour since I had work and our son had school. But 3 am rolled around and he finally showed.
We talked for about 30 to 45 min and then he fell asleep. He never slurred his words and claimed that he hadn't drank much at all. (Side note: I had been sick the week before he came down to visit with a horrible stomach virus.)
About 5 am he was awakened to a water sound and coughing. I flipped the light now and he was puking his guts out. All over the bed, wall, his suit case, it was every where. I was able to get him to the bathroom and began to clean the room. I scooped all the blankets up and put them in the bathroom. He laid on the bed shivering and sick. I continued to clean the room.
When I finally was able to get to the blankets I began to sift through them and found his phone. It was covered in puke. I wiped it clean and lit up. There it was, the underlying story. "I love you and I miss you." The message every woman would find as the most defiling and heart wrenching thing to ever happen to them.
As I began to read I would learn of a 4 month relationship that had been ongoing with the mysterious coworker. I immediately started snapping screenshots and sending them to myself. I kicked him out and to his friends house he went.
Keep it on fast forward. Betrayed as anyone would feel, I began to weigh my options. Do I stay or do I go? Was is worth it? The relationship, the hurt. Could I heal? Would I be able to forgive my husband? The man I devoted myself too. The man I made a promise too. Biblically speaking, it is wrong and the only grounds for divorce. And it would be my choice to go forward with it if that's something that I wanted.
Back to two separate time zones we went. And the mystery relationship was ended. Things changed. Daily phone calls were made and conversations were stronger than ever. His guilt was apparent.
A few short weeks later I was finding myself beginning a new job, in a hotel for training, sitting in the bathroom contemplating taking a pregnancy test. My gut already knew. Two pink lines appeared and my heart would sink. Full of happiness because after 2 years of trying to have another baby was finally here and full of sadness because how was I supposed to bring another child into a broken environment...I immediately told my husband and my spiritually connected friend. The news was taken well by both.
The decision came to forgive my husband for what he had done. After seeing in his actions that he really wanted his family and felt truly sorry for what he did, I knew I had to try for our son and future child.
But now I sit here at 14 weeks and will begin to show sooner than later and have yet to tell my parents, sisters or his family. Due to the circumstances that happened my family is just as hurt by him.
Which brings me to my biggest concern. How do I tell them? How do I tell my family? The people I am supposed to be able to share my greatest accomplishments with. I feel there will be disappointment due to the situation and that they will not be happy for this baby. Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated!! Thank you in advance.