5 weeks away

And I'm so worried about losing weight! I have gained so much and my butt and thighs have expanded so much. This is my second child and I gained 50 pounds with my first and didn't lose all the weight. I was over weight already this time... I'm just dreading trying to lose the weight! If I don't I will feel so down on myself. I didn't try to lose any weight after my first I was lazy and liked food to much! And this time I will be working harder to breast feed so I won't be able to " diet " and I'm afraid that will make it harder...