Orgasms

So I've been with my SO for almost a year now and I haven't been able to cum at all!! Not even by myself!  I came really close once but I just couldn't. I don't know what to do. I get that most girls need to be clitorally stimulated (which is how I got close) but mine is so sensitive that he can't even touch it! (So I do to try to finally cum) I've clawed his arm up before because it sends me into a state of panic and I can't keep still and I feel really bad. Does this happen to anyone else? How can I get past this? It's getting really frustrating for both of us and I'm the only girl he's had these issues with. Any comments or tips would be greatly appreciated.