Is being a slob a deal breaker?

Question

I'm a very organized and clean person who doesn't like clutter. My boyfriend is kind of a slob, especially compared to all my exes who were quite clean. We don't live together yet but are planning to move in together this year. I'm worried that when we do I will go crazy and be cleaning up behind him constantly. He doesn't even notice when things are dirty. Garbage piles up in his kitchen, he won't clean his bathroom for months (usually I'm the one to clean it because I can't stand it), he doesn't change his sheets or towels often and there's tons of clutter in his house. I'm stressed out thinking about it. When I point it out to him he says he's too busy to deal with it, that it doesn't bother him and I'm overly clean.😦

Aside from this he is the most incredible amazing man and I love him now than anything.

Any advice is appreciated :(

Answer

My SO is the same way. When we moved in together it took some adjusting. I would get mad a lot that he didn't notice things were dirty. He told me I have to ask him to do specific things if I want his help- like will you vacuum the living room today? Can you sweep the kitchen this afternoon. Of course he doesn't complete task to my standards but it's better than nothing. Also, I do throw out his trash and useless things because he never will. He will make excuses to keep useless things but never notices when they're gone.

Answer

Inibksy is perfect.. So that if that's his ony fault see if you can live with it and let him learn to help you.. Don't dismiss his habits before you love together it might be different but it might not be either so just tell him what your problems are be honest with him ..

Answer

I got to admit, it's the other way round here. My fiancee is a lot more domestic than me n I have some hoarding tendencies. He does 70% of all the houswork. I know how to do it but seem to have selective vision when it comes to mess n can procrastinate for the world over cleaning. I'm better than I was on my own, no more dishes growing in the sink! Lol Hoping to get much better when baby gets here. Give the guy a chance, he may even join in the housework just cos he feels guilty watching you do it all! (I do!)

Answer

My boyfriend was the same way. Once our little one got here and we moved in together, my originization obsession and cleaning habits rubbed off on him a lot. He knows I have a lot on my plate so he likes to clean up so I won't have to.

Answer

My DH is exactly the same way. He's gotten better since we moved in together, but I've been honest with him. I've made it abundantly clear that it's rude to completely trash a house when someone else is living with you. I've also made strides to be less neurotic about cleaning so that we have met somewhere in the middle. Both are happy with the results, although he still complains about cleaning sometimes. We have agreed to clean together on Sundays, and I don't pick up after him anymore (it took me over a year to get over cleaning up after my husband). He does his own laundry if it's not in the basket when I go to do it. Just wanted to let you know that it's possible to be happy with a slob! Good luck love!

Answer

I was in the same situation as you a year ago! Lol I am by no means super clean but air need majority of my things to be organized. My boyfriend is literally exactly how you described yours (which I down know how because he was a Marine for 9 years!). When we first moved in, we argued about that A LOT. He would leave his dishes everywbere, leave his clean laundry on the floor so it mixed with his dirty, his beard hair is always clogging the sink (and I thought my hair in the shower was bad! Haha). We both agreed to try harder...I tried to be more patient with him and he tried harder to pick up after himself. He can still be a slob and I will end up picking up after him sometimes, but for the most part, it just took communicstion, like anything else in a relationship! Make sure to set some ground rules and if you really need to, make a chart for who does what and leave it on the fridge. Remember though, he is not going to become a neat freak in a month or two. It will take some time!

Answer

You can't change him and only you know where your breaking point is so it's really a matter of asking yourself if you'll be ok cleaning up after him.

Answer

If he is incredibly amazing then I would move forward and hopefully he will change over time :) maybe you guys could set up a list of chores for each of you, like he always takes out the garbage/recycling, etc.

Is being a slob a deal breaker?

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