Pregnant for the second time accidentally on purpose

When I was 16, my friend raped me. I got pregnant and he pressured me into abortion. Ever since then, I have been obsessed with becoming pregnant again. My life revolves around it. I was in such grief over the abortion the only way I knew how to solve it was getting pregnant again although I knew that I still wasn't capable of providing for a baby. Here we are two years later. My boyfriend knew I wasn't good at taking my pill but little does he know I actually didn't take it at all for one month, the month I became pregnant again. And now he wants me to have another abortion because neither of us are financially stable or independent enough to be parents.