Polyamory?

Question

I found out a group of people in my local Blues dance scene are polyamorus. So now I'm curious.

How does it work?

Do you date date multiple people? Or date one person but sleep with multiple people?

How do you deal with jealousy?

Has any of your partners ever leave you for one of their partners to start a monogamous relationship?

How do you become a part of someone's circle jerk?

Answer

It's a different dynamic for everyone. There's not one set way a poly relationship works. For myself I have a boyfriend. My boyfriend. And we as a couple are 'dating' (I use quotes bc we haven't really put a label on it yet) another girl. I have very little jealousy bc I know that if any issue developed with the other girl developing feelings and waning to be with only one of us, we would end it bc nothing is worth getting between what we have together. We're a package deal and we make it very well known to our other partners that while we love them, there's always going to be a more powerful bond between my boyfriend and I. And if that's not something the other person is comfortable with then we move on to someone else. It's all about making everyone happy and comfortable and you have to have a lot of open communication and really understand yourself and what you're wanting out of your life and relationships.

Answer

There really is a huge variety of dynamics when it comes to non-monogamous relationships. Literally, "polyamory" mean "many loves". Someone who is polyamorous is either inclined toward, or actively, participating in, romantic relationships with more than one person. It's not generally about sex. That isn't to say that a polyamorous person wouldn't have any relationships that didn't revolve around sex, but overall it's more for the emotional attachment than a physical one. 
A couple who has only one romantic relationship, but sleep with people outside of eachother (together or otherwise) would be what's commonly known as swingers.

as in the other commenters case, poly partners can be dated mutually- given that's what the third person is into- or exclusive to one of the partners in the primary relationship. this third party could also have partners of their own, completely separate from the initial couple. your number of partners is only limited by what everyone is comfortable with, and what you are capable of maintaining healthily.

Jealousy isn't absent from the mind of a poly person; it's a natural human emotion. However, poly people make a point to confront those feelings and address the root of them, instead of simply acting on it and allowing jealousy to control your actions. ideally, one's emotional maturity level continues to develope over time, and as relationships and individuals grow in a poly dynamic, those individuals will reach a point where they let go of jealousy and instead begin to experience what is known as "compersion"; happiness for your partner's happiness with- and love for- another person.

as for starting a relationship with a poly person, it's really no different than starting any other relationship- there are just more people involved!

Polyamory?

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