Compromise?

Question

In your relationship there's a lot of compromise that is sure to happen right? Well I was just wonder if you guys sacrifice things equally or if it was one person more than the other? My boyfriend is my world but I feel I sacrifice a lot more than he does. And I'm not saying he's a bad boyfriend I just feel that since I'm more open minded I'm the one that just says okay more often. Would it make me a bad guy if I told him that I felt this way? Maybe opening him up to the fact that I do and him realizing that I wouldn't have to so much? Have you been put in a situation like this?

Answer

My dad always said, if you feel like you are giving in 80% of the time you are probably only doing 50%. So, unless your SO is lazy all the time,  try not to keep score on who is giving more. Just love him, which requires actions to show your love.

Answer

There are times where he gives more and times where I give more. It's not about comparing or making the other feel bad for having to be more flexible, it's about understanding that different stages in life will require more sacrifice on my part, and others on his. If each party was only ever giving half, there would be a lot of situations where everyone fell short.

Answer

I definetly compromise a lot more than my boyfriend. I moved away from my friends and family for him. I do things more his way. I do thi sh he wants to do. That's not to say that he neeeever compromises but for the most part I do. I'm definetly more openminded and easy going with most things than he is and will let things go his way to avoid an argument bc it's just not worth it to me. I don't mind bc that's just the dynamic that works for our relationship. I like to joke that he's my little princess bc of how much I do for him.

Answer

I know how you feel. I've been married four years now, I am always thinking of my husband and kids first and consistently sacrifice/inconvenience/postpone my needs and wants, sometimes to my detriment, to make his life easier. My husband's mind literally doesn't work that way, he can only think about himself first. When we first got together I thought I would get over it, because I was just so happy to be with him. But over the years it has taken a toll. I often feel taken for granted, like my well being is neglected, and unappreciated. It's a terrible feeling. Because I may keep it at bay at the best of times but whenever times are tough, or if we fight about something, any negative feelings I have are absolutely magnified because that hurt comes flooding out :( I'm aware of it though, and I know that the only healthy thing to do is to focus on the future and remind myself of all the positive things in my life and in our relationship (of which there are many). I choose to stay because I love him and I'm committed, therefore I must choose to let those things go. It's easier said than done, I've yet to figure out the fool proof way to achieve that. If you figure it out before I do, let me know! Lol.

Compromise?

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