Orgasm?

Question

How do you know exactly when or what is an orgasm? Lol I'm 19 and haven't been sexually active for long so I'm new to this whole sex life!

Answer

Haha I'm nineteen too and remember asking this exact question on yahoo answers when I had my first girlfriend. For me, in the beginning, it would be when the feeling of pleasure built up and built up and suddenly I'd just be like "ok I'm done with this." 
 It was really subtle and didn't feel like the intense waves of ecstasy I was expecting so I thought I wasn't even cumming. Over time I've gotten used to it and now the best way I can describe it is a pulsing feeling *down there* combined with a tingly feeling all over. Like when your foot falls asleep but instead of your foot it's your whole body. 
 
My best advice would be to masturbate more! Get used to your body's reactions and in time it'll hopefully be easier to recognize (:

Answer

Part 2:
If you do orgasm when you masturbate, you likely already know the secret to your own pleasure without even realizing it. You have two organs “down there”. One for reproduction and one for pleasure. Since they are so close together, they get confused, and besides, sex-ed sucks big time.

Your vagina is for reproduction. It is your birth canal, and a safe place for your partner to ejaculate his sperm to get you pregnant. It is also an outlet for your menstrual flow. To protect you from trauma caused by pain, your vagina is largely without nerve endings, leaving it mostly with very little feeling. If it was very sensitive inside, childbirth, menstruation, inserting tampons, infections and sex would be intolerable. Unfortunately, sex with a male partner is mostly concentrated around your vagina with his penis pumping in and out of it.

Your clitoris is actually your primary pleasure organ. It is the equivalent of the male penis, except that you do not ejaculate, and you do not pee through it. It is a massive organ, going almost 15 cm inside your body. It forms 2 wishbone structures, the 2 fat bulbs that are going under your lips towards your vaginal entrance, and two thin long legs that goes deeper in your body. Just that little tip that you can see and feel (the glans) has more than 8,000 nerve endings, making it the most sensitive organ anywhere on a human body. In other words, it is made for stimulation, leading to pleasure and orgasms. Unlike a male partner’s penis, you do not pee through your clitoris, you do not ejaculate through your clitoris, and your clitoris does not have any glands. Your clitoris has only one job - pleasure leading to orgasms.

During normal sex with a male partner, most women do not get enough stimulation to their clitoris to orgasm. Only about 20% to 30% can orgasm from just intercourse. Research has shown that it is because their clitoris is close enough to their vaginal opening so that the thrusting of the penis also stimulates their clitoris. The rest of us need extra clitoral stimulation to orgasm during sex. There are a number of ways to achieve this. It may feel unnatural in the beginning, but it will become second nature pretty quickly and it holds the keys to a great sex life.

During sex, you need to stimulate your clitoris. You can do it with your fingers, his fingers, a small clitoral vibrator, a couple's vibrator or by changing how you move during sex. Giving your clitoris extra stimulation by rubbing or vibration is easier done with you on top, or him behind you. And it is pretty much just masturbating while he is inside you.

Changing the way you move can also give you great orgasms. With him fully inside you, tilt your pelvis so that your clitoris makes contact with his body. The rub, squeeze and grind in small movements on him. There is no rule that states that sex must be the in/out up/down that does so little for you. When you get more adept with this, you can even end the in-stroke with a sweep of your clitoris on his body, giving you back this typical in/out motion. This is also much easier done with you on top where you can control the movements. Another way to think about this is how to get an orgasm when both you and your partner have your underwear on and you are on top straddling him/her while they are on their back. How do you need to move your lower body on top of him/her to get an orgasm?

There is even a sex position that achieves this very efficiently called the coital alignment technique (or C.A.T.). You can google it. It is difficult to explain, and it takes some practice and experimentation, and I think it is easiest done with a long-term partner.

Some interesting research also showed that the following can help you orgasm with your partner:
•	Keep your feet warm. Wear socks if you need to
•	Use a few positions. Couples that tried at least 3 positions during a session orgasmed more than those that did not.
•	You need to move and not just lay still. Women who move their hips during sex orgasms consistently more than those that do not.
•	Foreplay do not play any role in the woman’s orgasm from intercourse. Of course, it is still needed to make penetration pain-free and comfortable. The time spent with penis in vagina sex does determine the woman’s ability to orgasm. If it takes you 14 minutes to reach orgasm, and your partner only lasts 10 minutes, you are not going to orgasm.
•	You have to be mindful and present in the moment. Thinking about anything else is not helping. Being worried about how you look, or smell is not helpful. Thinking about something that happened or something coming up is not helpful. Being self-conscious is not helpful. Fantasizing during sex can help.
•	Fully trusting your partner and giving up control is important.  During sex it is easy for your partner to injure you, so trusting him is important. And if you are worried about losing control during your orgasm, you are not going to orgasm.
•	Using a safe birth control method is important. If you are worried about getting pregnant, you cannot enjoy sex the way it is supposed to be enjoyed. This is especially true if you use pull-out or had a pregnancy scare before

With a female partner, the same principals apply - getting stimulation to your clitoris from her mouth, fingers, a toy or strap-on, or rubbing your clitoris on her body it the way to get your orgasm during sex.

If you are wondering how to stimulate your clitoris, here are a few tips:

•	In the beginning your clitoris may be very sensitive. Start very gently and not directly on your clitoris. Make sure you are well lubricated. When you are dry, your clitoral hood will “stick” to your clitoris, rather than slide over it. You can use your own arousal fluid from inside your vagina, saliva, or a store-bought personal lubricant on your fingers.
•	You can rub next to your clitoris, over your clitoris, around your clitoris, on your clitoris. It can be slow or fast, hard or gentle, large motions or very small motions. You can use a fingertip, a finger, multiple fingers, the palm of your hand or an object/toy. You can rub, squeeze, press, grind, tap, pinch or vibrate your clitoris.
•	You may also find that the closer to orgasm you get, the faster and harder you go, and the more direct the stimulation needs to become.
•	It may take more than one session to figure it out. There is nothing wrong with taking your time. You are not “broken” and nothing is wrong. Stop and try again another day, do not get frustrated.

Answer

Part 1:
An orgasm is your climax during sex and masturbation. 

During sexual stimulation, stress and tension builds up in your muscles and brain and energy is absorbed in your body. If this continues, your brain will ultimately shut down in a trance like state for a second or two, allowing your body and brain to release that energy, tension and stress in waves of pleasure, contractions, maybe also heat and shaking. During your orgasm, various hormones and chemicals are also released in your body. These act as natural antidepressants, pain killers and feel-good hormones.

An orgasm starts from your sex organs (usually it starts from your clitoris or deeper inside from your uterus) and radiating outwards. As your orgasm starts, your clitoris may feel like a sparkler, or you may feel sudden pleasurable heat from your uterus. 

You can usually feel the orgasmic contractions by resting a finger on your anus.

After an orgasm you may feel relaxed or sleepy, happy, satisfied, content, or even glowing.

An orgasm for a woman typically lasts from 10 to 30 seconds, and for a man it lasts between 3 and 10 seconds. It is not an issue if your orgasm lasts for less or more time. There are various reasons why this can be, including how excited you are, when last you had an orgasm, and techniques used to bring you to orgasm. Orgasms can change with your menstrual cycle phases, as you get older, with different medicines and drugs, and even depending on the partner you are with or the toy you are using.

When you want to learn how you orgasm, masturbation is your very own private research laboratory where you learn about your body, sexual response cycle, and orgasms. It is an important part of your education, it teaches you about your body, both physically and psychologically.

If you have not done so yet, wash your hands, close your door, switch on the lights, get comfortable in front of a mirror, relax, and look at your genitals. It may be a shock if you have not done so before, It will likely look different than the fantasy version you see in porn, in color, what sticks out or are hidden, and how large or small things are. Remember that when you get sexually aroused, blood rushes to the area and things swell up, open up, get wetter, and the color may get darker. 

Spread your lips, pull back your clitoris hood and look at what you look like. What you see is all you. It is as much a part of you as your face or hands or breasts. It is all good. There is nothing bad there. There is nothing to be ashamed of or feel embarrassed about. We consider our genitals to be private. That does not mean it is bad or shameful. It is just private, and you decide whom sees it and when.

Google “female external genitalia drawing” and see if you can identify the same parts in your own body - The outer lips (labia majora), the inner lips (labia minora), the clitoris hood, the clitoris, your pee hole (urethral opening) and your vaginal opening (it may or may not have pieces of your hymen still there around the rim of the vaginal entrance). The area between your inner lips may be smooth, or it may be very uneven and bumpy. It is often not as smooth and even as you see on drawings.

You can also stick a finger inside your vagina and feel the ridges that allows your vagina to stretch for penetration and childbirth. Also, feel how it curves around your pubic bone. You may be able to feel your cervix right at the top. It feels like the tip of your nose with a small dimple in it where the little hole is that leads to your uterus. This is where sperm enters, cervical mucus and your period comes out, and through which a baby passes during childbirth. Close to your period, your cervix may be lower and stiff like the tip of your nose. Closer to ovulation, it may be higher and softer, like your lips.

There are a few things that can affect your ability to orgasm:

1. Growing up in a strict religious or conservative culture often means that everything sexual around you were repressed and covered in shame and guilt. Accepting that you are a sexual being that can enjoy sex for pleasure and intimacy, rather than just for making babies is necessary. Learning to orgasm and enjoy it is often the first step to get rid of the repression, shame and stigma of considering yourself as a sexual woman.

2. Your body image and acceptance - If you criticize your own body, you should stop that. It is the body you have, and despite what you think about it, your partner wants to be with you. Nobody’s body is perfect. We all have some parts we want to change, especially when it comes to skin, weight, breasts and vulva. But we are almost always way more critical of our own bodies than any of our partners will ever be. So, it is important to put all those thoughts out of your head. Your partner is with you because he/she wants to be with you, not because you have a perfect body, but because they love you and your unique body. Your body is not who you are. You are much more than a pair of breasts and a vagina. Aways remember that.

3. Misinformation and the lack of proper sex education plays a great role in women’s inability to orgasm. If you do not understand the different roles of your vagina and clitoris play, or how to get to an orgasm using them, you will find it difficult to orgasm. The same goes for your partner. If he/she do not know and understands a woman’s body and how women reach orgasm, they will find it difficult to help you reach orgasm.

4. Communication - communication with your partner about what you need or want is very important. Without it, they are just working in the dark, hoping or wishing they can help you orgasm. This is also where masturbation helps you because you can show and tell him/her how you like to be touched to get an orgasm.

5. Control - you have to be willing to give up control of your body to your partner. For that you have to trust your partner. It is easy for your partner to injure you during sex, so if you do not trust him/her, it will be difficult to let go of trying to control everything and enjoy sex the way it can be enjoyed. You have to just let go and not care about what you look like, what you smell like, what you sound like, or what you do. Sex is one of the most basic and primal things humans do. Do not overthink it.

6. Medicines and drugs may affect your ability to orgasm, or the amount of time it takes you to orgasm. This is especially true about medicines and drugs that alters your brain chemistry/mood (ADHD, antidepressants, anxiety), or hormone balance (birth control and fertility drugs). This effect is not always negative, often it is neutral, and sometimes it is positive. Often the condition that it is treating can also affect your 

7. You are responsible for your orgasm. If you are with a partner, he/she can help you, but if your mind is not in it, you will not orgasm. Your partner’s responsibility is to do what pleases you, that is why communication is so important. Your responsibility is to stay in the moment, be present, not let your mind wander, not think about work, or homework, or what you have to do tomorrow, or worry about what your partner thinks. Keep your thoughts healthy and positive, be mindful.

Answer

you pretty much know you're having an orgasm when you can't control your body, the way it moves. almost like spasms. you'll know

Answer

You know that feeling when stuff is really good and the pleasure is great. Well if you keep going from there it will hit really instensly and feel really good for 2-20 seconds. You will tense up and not even be able to think. Then you will come back down and no longer have such an intense desire for pleasure.

Answer

Best thing ever 😍 not really but close to it. Most woman don't get one unless they stimulate themselves. Playing with your clit for example while he's inside of you.That's the only way I can get one. And it feels sooo much better and it's way easier to get one if you're in love with the other person or extremely attracted to them.  But you will defiantly know when you get one.

Answer

You will know. It's like waves going thru your pelvic muscles, and sometimes all over. It feels like a sneeze in your crotch. But better.

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