Why am I such a crazy jealous SO

Question

I KNOW when I'm being irrational but I don't know how to rein it in. I can't control my emotions, and it messes everything up. I'm on new meds to stabilize my moods but they won't kick in for a month or so.

My SO cheated on me a year or so ago and now I don't like when he talks to any girls. It makes me SO uncomfortable and anxious.

(He came clean-I never would have known otherwise. It was a one night drunk hook up and begged for my forgiveness. So I forgave, but I can't forget and that's the issue I think.)

I used to not care if he talked to girls, I trusted him, he broke that trust. We still work on that now.

But he still talks to girls. And I have told him I don't like it, it drives me crazy because my mind goes to this dark place. Well I was just on his snapchat and saw his best friend is a girl on there. And now I'm upset and trying not to be but I can't stop. We fought so bad yesterday and I told him I can't do it, I can't be okay with him being close with girls because of that one time.

I've suggested counseling. But we're struggling to find a way to go, with our schedules.

WHY AM I SO FREAKING CRAZY. I just wanna go through his phone but that will make me feel worse. WHAT CAN I DO. I don't want to be crazy or controlling or tell him he can't have female friends but it makes me so upset and moody and it's not okay. Please help me..

Answer

I don't think your crazy, if my husband did that I would not be okay with him so much as look at another girl. And vice versa my husband would be just like me when it came to that. And my belief s once a cheater always a cheater..

Answer

I'm so sorry that you went through that. If you've talked about it then he should listen. He's the one that caused that pain, therefore if he wants to keep your relationship he needs to listen and respect you. If you don't want him talking to girls (completely understandable because of what he put you through) then he should respect your wishes. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like he really respects you enough to knock it off, and the trust is already broken so maybe you should look into couples therapy. There's so many guys out there who would never do that to you, you deserve better girl!

Answer

The way I see it, you trusted him talking to other girls before he betrayed that trust.  Let's be honest here, some women won't allow their men to be friends with any woman that isn't family. You're not being unreasonable for having a problem with it now that you've had that trust betrayed.  You can do all the counseling in the world, but,  you won't be able to trust him talking to other girls if you're guard is up.  You can tell him that you don't like it.  If it's that big of a deal to him that he doesn't care what bothers you, he may not be the man for you and vice versa if the shoe were on  the other foot. Be honest about your feelings with him. It's okay to have insecurities and draw the line when it comes to things in your relationship that you're not wanting to tolerate.

Answer

Break up with him. You clearly can't move on and let go from previous mistakes.

Answer

It will take awhile for him to gain your trust back. He needs to make the effort to not talk to other girls since it's making you so uncomfortable.

Answer

TRUST IS EVERYTHING .... Thinking he can always slip again is not healthy either you forgive him and forget it happen .. Or you going to have to walk away from the relationship because you are really going to do something irrational that it's just not worth it ..... Meds is not solution your peace of mind is ....

Answer

He shouldn't be talkin to other females he broke the trust he shouldn't be drinkin ever either. I'd move on he cheated one day he'll do it again because he knows you'll forgive him.

Answer

You've either got to forgive him and let it go, or admit that you can't and leave him. Those are your only options. If he's not cheating and you keep feeling like he is, then you're just living in a nightmare of your own making. You're not crazy; some women just can't forgive cheating while some can. You've got to move on, either with him or without him, whichever is possible. Be honest with yourself.

Answer

I don't think you're crazy. I think you just can't trust him and if that's the case you should maybe just call it a day. A relationship doesn't work without trust. Even if he did stop talking to girls, what happens when you're walking down the street and another girl speaks to him or something. It's better to leave on good terms instead of completely pulling apart the relationship trying to fix it

Answer

You would only be "crazy" if you were like that for no reason. You don't need to go to therapy. HE gave you a reason to stop trusting him. It does't matter how many times he did it or under what circumstance. Personally, I think the drunk card is a poor excuse. I went through a hardcore party phase and I have NEVER been so drunk that I cheated on someone I loved. Even near black out drunk I still could make that decision. He's weak and insensitive to how his actions changed your relationship. Some women can move on from something like that, but it doesn't sound like you're one of them. Even if you got him to stop talking to his friends that are girls, he will resent you for it later. You gave this an honest shot, but it sounds like it's time to throw in the towel on this one. This relationship ending is NOT your fault. Leave and get your sanity back.

Why am I such a crazy jealous SO

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