I Miscarried.

As
I was supposed to be 11w6 today. Instead I found out that I lost my first baby at approx 9 wks. I am absolutely heart broken. I have no idea what comes next. I just want to curl up and shut out the world. I knew something was wrong. I've felt it for weeks but no one would believe me. They thought I was crazy. My Obgyn refused to see me because i was "overreacting". The father didn't come with me to the ER because I was "overreacting". Now im sitting all alone in a dark room in the ER. I don't know what to do. How do I live through this? How is it possible for me to stand up and walk out of here knowing that October 12th will now be the day my baby was supposed to be born instead of my baby's birthday. I can't stop shaking. How do I tell the father that he wont be a daddy. How do i look at the 5 ft bear we got the baby without wanting to die? How do I tell my mom? How do I tell my coworkers? How do I convince myself? How do I go back to normal?