So emotional right now

I just blew off my ex first time I've ever had it wasn't working it will never work I was never important to him but he meant everything to me it's time to let go even if hurts now I just really regret telling him no to sex like what even I shouldn't even be talking to him and I feel bad because I turned him down and he stopped replying but at least I know that's all he wanted  so I've a reason to hate him😭