Hi me and my So have been together for 8yrs and hes been there for me when i had my depression,when i had alot going on. And he made me happy and promised hed never hurt me. I thought he was different. Than last year he cheated on me with a co-worker. When i found out my depression got worse. The thing is i still love him,i dont know why after all of lies and he cheated. Our relationship changed due to his cheating..and he blamed me..said it was my fault because i found out.

In january he said sorry for everything hes done. I forgave him. And we were good again..well i thought.

Than last month he said we need space and time so we could miss eachother and he said by the time were back together he will have a better job.

While i give him space he says he wants us too continue ttc. Which doesnt make sense. He confuses me. Says he loves me but than people we know,his family and friends say he talk crap about me..he tells me he wants a baby bad before he hits 30. He tells ppl that i cant give him a child..i have and lost it december due to stress.

I know i deserve better

At the same time its so hard just walking out. Im so used to being around him. And i never loved anyone this way..like how i love him.

Its really hard. And im so depressed.

Do you guys think im crazy for still having feelings for him and still living with him?.

He says he doesnt wanna lose me but wants a little space but at the same time hes talking shit about me and when i bring it up..he says im hearing things or thier lying.