Some humor on BFP from the perspective of an infertility patient.
This is how a normal woman experiences her pregnancy news:
I am late on my period which comes exactly every 28 days!
Let me take a test...
OMG, I am pregnant! 2 strong, bold lines!
*ring, ring* Hello Doctor, I am pregnant and would like to schedule my first prenatal appointment.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! We would like to see you at 8 weeks, that is when your baby will first be detectable on an ultrasound. Congrats again and we'll see you in a few weeks!
This is how a woman obsessively trying to conceive experiences her pregnancy news:
May as well pee on one of these, I have like 200 and they probably expire.
There we go, I'll just throw it up on the counter and forget about it. Hasn't been positive for 2 years, why would it be now?
Sings in the shower, towel dries, paints nails, forgets about HPT
Gotta pee! Oh yeah, I took an HPT earlier.
IS THAT A F'N FAINT LINE?!?
When was my last period? Shit. When did I ovulate? Ughhhhh, did I write it down? Did I track my temps recently? Wait, was this a 32 or 41 day cycle? Wait, is that even a line? Maybe the test is defective? Do these actually have expiration dates?
Drinks a bunch of water, takes another test.
No line. Must have been in my imagination. Will test again in the morning with FMU. I am crash dieting so I am definitely not pregnant.
Next morning. 2 tests. Very faint lines, and, dear husband sees them too.
Schedules beta series with infertility office.
Schedules first ultrasound even though I know it's too early. When was your last period? You don't understand, I have long cycles and I ovulate irregularly. You should be about 8 weeks along. Are you listening to me? See you soon!
HCG results come back. 37 iUl. That is pretty low, isn't it?
Infertility doctor congratulates pregnancy, and agrees HCG level is low.
Just matters if it doubles every 48 hours, that is the trend we are looking for. I am rooting for you.
10 vials of blood, 6 needle sticks, 2 transvaginal ultrasounds and a seriously bruised arm later.
HCG is trending normally, but I am probably only 5-6 weeks and they will not be able to see anything until my HCG hits at least 2000 <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">iUI</a>.
Schedule prenatal follow up and another transvaginal for the end of the following week.
It'll only be the size of an orange seed, they won't be able to see all the structures but at least they'll be able to confirm it's in your uterus and not in your tubes putting you at a risk of ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage.
Thanks...so....should I be worried about miscarrying?
And my mom doesn't understand why I'm a ball of nerves! 😒