Having a hard day...

Every once in awhile I will have a day where all I can think about is when my husband cheated on me with his "best friend". I wonder if he has done it again since, or if he will do it again in the future. It has been almost 4 years since the cheating, but his refusal to talk about it and insistant denial at first make it hard for me to trust him even now. I just wish I could be enough for someone. My heart hurts :(