Postpartum emotions..
I'm 7 days pp and I feel like my emotions are getting the best of me. I know it's probably just all my hormones but I'm having a hard time dealing with other people. It has absolutely nothing to do with my newborn. He is so perfect in every way and he's been such a breeze for me! But my husbands family has been SO overwhelming.. His mom has been at our house or come over almost every night since I've had the baby. Which is nice I know she's helping and we have a two year old little boy as well she comes and helps with him, but she'll invite my brother in law and his wife over with their 4 year old and his wife really stresses me out and her 4 year old is so whiny and he fights with my 2 year old constantly. It's just exhausting. I want to spend time at my house with my family and try and get adjusted to our new life but I feel like I can't do that when someone is constantly here.
My husband gets mad at me bc he says his mom is just trying to help and I really do understand that but I just want to sit and enjoy my baby to myself and get to know him without people taking him from me. My father in law passed away unexpectedly in December so I know my MIL just wants to be here bc she's at home alone, but again... I just am ready to be left alone with my family.
But last night I just completely came unglued. My husband went back to work after being home for a few days with us and the baby so I knew it may be a long day for me with our 2 year old and the baby by myself but I felt confident it'd all be just fine. My 2 year old definitely tests my limits with his new brother. He rocks him in his swing to fast, tries to throw toys into his seat, runs by and screams in his face. It's just an adjustment and him trying to get attention but by the time my husband got home I was so happy to have him there but he changed and went to the gym...so I laid our toddler down for a nap and when my husband got home he went to play golf...then he went to a local bar with his friends...then he came home at about 8pm after drinking since playing golf at 3pm. I was literally sick to my stomach. Here I am 6 days pp with a toddler and he's out having a guys day!!!! I couldn't stop crying and it was upsetting our toddler but I couldn't help it. I haven't cried like that in a long time and it just wouldn't stop. My husband kept telling me how I was overreacting and being dumb. So I totally shot myself in the foot by calling his mother...totally shouldn't have done it and I hate that I did but I couldn't think of anything else to do. And my husband just flipped on me telling be how embarrassing I am and he'll never forgive me and were not a team and I'm crazy and freaking out for no reason at all. I'm so confused as to if I'm even in the wrong here at all.. He keeps telling me I owe him an apology but I honestly don't feel like I've done anything. I'm trying so hard to keep it together for my kids and trying to make my husband happy but I feel like when I'm making my kids happy my husbands not happy and I can't just focus on my husband 24/7 with a toddler and a newborn. But now my MIL seems to think I'm incapable of caring for two kids on my own and keeps asking if she needs to take off work and help me. While the offer is appreciated I just want my husband to want to be here as much as he can. It has nothing to do with taking care of the kids. Is it a lot? Yes. But am capable and a 10000% willing and wanting to do it? Yes.
I just feel very overwhelmed by others and just want to lock door and turn my phone off.
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