I think I've lost hope

TTC for 11 months with 3 miscarriages. It seems like I'm breaking down more often, My heart aches constantly. Everyone tells me my body just wasn't ready or it'll happen when it happens, I don't know why they think this will make me feel better about my losses. I want to get pregnant again but I'm so scared. Today should be fertilization day and I can't help but think not IF I lose this baby but WHEN I do, I think I've lost hope. Miscarriage has ruined pregnancy for me. I just want to be a mom.