I miss my abusive boyfriend

It sounds stupid but it's true!! He was too jealous, too possessive, everything you hate in a relationship!! I left him and moved...I loved him as a friend but he loved me a bit too much!! After I left he told me two weeks later that he found someone and that person loves him, of course I didn't believed him, but yesterday I found out that it was true..they are going in Switzerland together and that really got to me...I am upset, depressed, sad, and can't stop thinking about him!! He loved me more than God (his words), and his whole family has already met her...what the fuck is wrong with me??? Why do I feel this way?? I didn't talk to anyone about this, please help me!! Am I insane?? Is this normal!?!?!