I just need some one to understand!

At the beginning of this year I had a dream that I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive! I took like three of them and all of them the same.....I was so happy I was crying with so much joy that I even woke up crying because I was feeling so happy...since then I have had a lot of problems becoming pregnant. 4 months later I had another dream that I was holding my baby and that it got kidnapped but I found her! I couldn't believe it was my baby girl....she was perfect in every way possible but it broke my heart to watch it because I knew that when I woke up she wouldn't be there....I can't get the dream out of my mind...every time I see a baby I can't help but cry...it is becoming to hard to hold myself together..I have been getting really depressed and I feel so alone because no one understands how I feel....I feel broken for not coming out pregnant....I hate myself in a way for not being able to do what other women can....I just need to vent about it.....I have been trying for almost 4 years and I am tried of wanting some thing I can't get...I feel so lost.