Depressed

Starting to feel down. All I do is be with the kids. I don't have any other company but then'm. I'm with them 24/7!! I feel like I just want to breathe but I'm always with them. Sometimes I just want a few hours of silence, of no diapers, no breastfeeding, no cooking/preparing meals, some sleep. My husband works a lot & even when he doesn't I'm mainly the one who's up at night with my newborn then I'm the one who stays home with my two y/o & newborn. I only got two nights of 5 hours of sleep since my newborn has been born & he's 18 days old. I know my husbands tired from work but at this point I'd love to get out of the house for a couple hours without being bombarded with the kids crying & messes, etc. I feel horrible to think like this & I know I planned this baby & was aware of the demands of a newborn plus a toddler but I thought I'd have more help from my husband. & my newborn son is what I least expected. He's totally opposite from my first. He won't take a bottle or pacifier so I couldn't let someone else feed him even if I tried to get some extra hours. I feel like a bad mom & wife & in going stir crazy. I just wanna cry but I have no one to talk to about it. All my family lives an hour away. Maybe if I had some company I'd be ok. Idk what else to do.