Feel so distant from this pregnancy, do you?

Today I was having a hard day. I feel so good that at times I forget that I'm actually pregnant. I feel so disconnected from this pregnancy. I don't know if it's the fear of losing another or the fact that it hasn't hit me yet. Maybe it's because I haven't had my first OB appointment yet. But I do check my toilet paper Every time I use the bathroom. I'm so scared to see my worst nightmare come true again. 
Am I the only one that feels like this? 
I even feel weird when my husband puts his hand over my stomach where the baby is. Oh, and today I went out and bought more pregnancy tests. I haven't taken one since a couple of days from when I got my first vfl.