Feel so distant from this pregnancy, do you?

Question

Today I was having a hard day. I feel so good that at times I forget that I'm actually pregnant. I feel so disconnected from this pregnancy. I don't know if it's the fear of losing another or the fact that it hasn't hit me yet. Maybe it's because I haven't had my first OB appointment yet. But I do check my toilet paper Every time I use the bathroom. I'm so scared to see my worst nightmare come true again. 
Am I the only one that feels like this? 
I even feel weird when my husband puts his hand over my stomach where the baby is. Oh, and today I went out and bought more pregnancy tests. I haven't taken one since a couple of days from when I got my first vfl.

Answer

It's protection and it's totally understandable after a loss. There can be an adrenaline to the first pregnancy, too - I know I'm not ask anxious/excited cause I know what to expect for a while. I've shared this before but I got this advice: if something goes wrong it's going to suck no matter whether we enjoyed this one or not. Keeping ourselves from enjoying the experience isn't going to prevent any pain, fear or anger that may come up. So, I'm trying to keep my guard down - even just a little. It's really easy to say "we'll see after the appt, genetic testing, etc etc" but I'm also trying to enjoy those little moments - like when I feel good or my husband shows excitement.

Answer

Yes, I am feeling the same way. I think it's a protective mechanism for not being so heartbroken if this pregnancy ends too (even though I know I will be heartbroken either way). Since I had a MMC last time I am not going to get my hopes up until I actually see a healthy baby with a heart beat on the ultrasound I have on May 6th. I wish I felt differently.  :-(

Answer

Feeling the exact same! I was saying I'd feel better after a heartbeat and I heard it yesterday and I don't feel any different. I think I'm guarding myself too much

Answer

I feel exactly the same. After an ectopic last June and a miscarriage in February I keep wondering if this one is going to stick around. Had my first scan on Friday and it had a heart beat. This is the furthest along we have made it at 7weeks 6 days and I keep checking for blood every time I go to the bathroom. It doesn't help that my husband doesn't want to tell anyone until the next apt jun 9....of course I've told my best friend and my parents and my co workers will all know come this week when I'm on light duty...

Answer

I also felt disconnected for a lot of the first trimester because I was worried I'd have another miscarriage. Always wondered if I'd see blood when wiping, and I did several times, due to a subchorionic hemorrhage. But it didn't hurt them. I'm 26 weeks now, haven't had those feelings for quite a while now, or bleeding. The hemorrhage cleared on its own. I think feeling the babies move helped me a lot.

Answer

I felt exactly the same was testing twice a day for the first 7 weeks - costing a fortune. Paid for an early scan and saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks and the lady said everything looked fine. I've had some symptoms but not many and now they are starting to ease up which she also said is normal at 11 weeks but hasn't stopped me worrying . Got our 12 week scan a week today . Speaking to friends I don't think the panic ever goes away. People who haven't lost one stress about it so it clearly is worse for people who have. But the lady said similar to one of the posts above, there is nothing you can do. Even if something does go wrong. However she did say think how lucky you are to get this far as thousands of people don't get as far as we have. Good luck and baby dust, I'm sure there is nothing wrong and what you are feeling we are all feeling X

Answer

This is exactly how I feel. I'm just so disconnected, by this point last time I was already obsessed with being pregnant and my growing baby, I basically had our whole lives planned out. This time around I just don't care, and I feel so guilty. Like I'd be stoked if in 8 months I had a happy little babe by my side but at the same time I've already been a statistic so who's to say it won't happen again.

Feel so distant from this pregnancy, do you?

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