Let's talk about Emotional Abuse.
Physical abuse is horrible but, in many many instances, there is EVIDENCE of abuse. Psychological abuse is quieter and it sneaks up on you. I was in an abusive situation with a guy for two years, and it took breaking up with him and getting some distance from the situation to realize what was going on. Studies show that the brain functions actually alter in victims of abuse, making it harder for them to leave. Many times we love our abuser and are sympathetic to the reasons they are they way they are.
Anyway, I feel like no one really told me about this when I was growing up and I feel like a lot of you are young enough and maybe we can start a discussion and educate each other, so that others don't have to go through what so many of us have.
Here are some clues that someone is being emotionally manipulative/abusive with you:
- they tell you that you "over think" things
- they disregard your opinion
- they tell you that your feelings are either stupid or that you're not actually feeling that way
- they don't like your friends, or get angry or jealous when you talk to them or hang out with them
- you find yourself cutting of ties and ending friendships, or just plain avoiding people, just to keep this person from blowing up at you or being upset
- they don't want to see your family any more than necessary (in my experience, anyway. This is probably going to differ from person to person)
-they pick at you for small things (i.e. you used the wrong pan for the stirfry, how could you?)
- they make you feel small by putting you down (this can be very sneakily vague or blunt and rude)
- they make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells to keep them happy
- they put down your dreams and ambitions (they may tell you that your dreams are silly or that you'll never make it)
- when confronted with mistakes they've made, they will become child like and make you feel bad for scolding them OR they will become overly defensive and turn the blame onto you
- nothing is ever their fault, always yours
I could go on... Feel free to join the discussion and share your stories! I want to make sure you girls know that there are some people who will take advantage of your love and kindness and to keep your eyes open for it. :)