Has anyone had a 4th degree?

I was wondering has anyone had a 4th degree from childbirth? I have one son and am currently 21 wks. My first was over 9 lbs, 22in. I was 90lbs when I got pregnant with him so it was a horrible horrible experience. 21 hr labor and 3 hrs pushing him out. The vacuum was used 3 times unsuccessfully , had to push again. It was traumatizing. Just to end with a 4th degree tear/ cut. I guess I was tearing and he cut me , IDK what happened down there. It took forever to heal , probably near a month or over. I had so many stitches down there the doc couldn't say how many. I had a lot of problems with incontinence for at least 5 years. And very rarely still have a problem. And it sucks because I'm only 28. So finally after 6 years I got the courage to get pregnant again. Now I have so much anxiety. I have a choice of c section or vaginal. I thought I wanted c section but I've never had surgery before so I'm scared to death of being cut open. I've read a lot of people with 4th degree usually need reconstructive surgery down there. I finally feel normal from my first and thankful I didn't need surgery to fix it. I'm scared if I rip it will follow the same path like they say, and I'll have another 4th degree. I'm also scared it will be another big baby. And I'm not sure I will go back to normal after having two 4 th degree. I just don't know what to do. Is there anyone that's had a 4th degree and was brave enough to have another child. What did you choose and how did it turn out? I know the second child is mostly a lot easier and faster , I'm just so scared of either option :(