Can't help but feel like a worried mama lol
This is so much longer than I thought it would be, I'm sorry!!!
I always had this irrational fear that I would never be able to get pregnant, I really have no idea why lol. But then I became pregnant without even trying, it was a total surprise! I'm only 21 so I wanted to go to the doctor right away just to confirm. On every test I took and even the doctors test, the two lines showed up within 5 seconds. My lmp calculated I would be around 7 weeks and 3 days. They did an ultrasound and I got to see my baby's little heartbeat ☺️ 126 bpm! After taking my baby's measurements, she said 6 weeks and 4 days was more accurate. I can't vision myself with a baby, partly due to my current situation. I still live at home with my parents, I'm not working at the moment but I will be starting a new job in June sometime, and I'm not with the baby's father (he is 26). At first he didn't want to be involved and told me to get rid of the baby and kept telling me he would never want a baby with me and kept saying that I was ugly and just being really awful. Then he settled down a bit and said he could never walk away from his child (he has a 2 year old son, so I was shocked when he told me to get rid of my baby because he knows the love a child brings) and that he wants to be involved, but I feel like they aren't for the right reasons. He's just worried about how people are going to look at him if he doesn't step up to be a father to this baby, he said his parents would disown him and if his son ever found out he walked away from his baby, he would probably hate him. So I don't feel like I'm getting any support from him and it makes things harder. My mom isn't happy I'm pregnant either, but she got pregnant with me when she was 17 years old and my family was so supportive of her and so helpful but she wants to kick me out of the house.. I don't think it's fair or right but that's just the way she is. But since I can't vision myself with a baby, I get nervous that I'll end up having a miscarriage... It's a horrible way of thinking but I just read so many stories of miscarriages and silent miscarriages, it's so heartbreaking. I love this little baby so much already. I take my prenatal vitamins everyday but I just always have that worry in the back of my mind! I had a friend that told everyone about her pregnancy at 12 weeks, but gave birth at 17 weeks.. I just couldn't imagine. Every little cramp worries me.