Perhaps the biggest mistake couples make when they have not been able to get pregnant after a relatively short interval of trying is to work on timing their intercourse to the precise moment of ovulation. Humans are designed in such a way that intercourse is not used solely as a means of getting pregnant. It has perhaps an even more important function of promoting the human family system (based on establishing a pairbonding-type relationship), which is crucial for the raising of children. Thus, when the husband and wife nervously hold off having sex despite the romantic inclination to do so, until some moment when her urine test turns positive or her morning temperature starts to rise, this couple is confounding nature. Tension created by such an attempt to make every episode of sex count (in terms of getting pregnant) creates so much anxiety that very often ovulation is delayed anyway.

Even if ovulation isn’t delayed by the emotions and tension created by scheduling sex, does precise timing actually improve the chance of getting pregnant? Once ovulated, the egg normally has about twelve hours in which it can be fertilized and result in a viable embryo. However, ejaculated sperm migrating up through the cervical mucus may remain motile for up to a week, and they are quite capable of fertilizing the egg for up to three days. Even if you do make it to the bedroom on time, is it of any benefit over random, happy sex that arises out of a good relationship?

Studies going back forty years have shown that couples who do not have an excessively cluttered life, and who are not having marital problems, will have intercourse an average of two to three times per week. If you are having sex two to three times per week, nature works pretty well. There will always be some normal sperm present and available for the egg whenever you ovulate. If, however, you are not having sex two to three times per week, then it’s time to examine your lifestyle and think about whether it needs to be changed.

In any event, timing intercourse seems to be of no use unless a couple is so busy that they can only have sex once a week or less. For everyone else it would be better to put aside fears about “wasting” intercourse at a time when it is not likely to lead to pregnancy.

--