Fallen out of love..?
I think after two years, I've fallen out of love with my boyfriend. I don't really miss him anymore. I don't have the urge to say "I love you". I don't adore or admire him anymore.
I loved him so much for the first year. He was perfect to me, he was my world and he was everything. I used to count all the good things about him and why I loved him all the time. I wanted to spend my life with him. But he hasn't been able to, without a doubt, claim that he l.o.v.e.s. me. He can't say "I love you". He's said it a few times but always told me later he's not 100% sure.
When we are together, we still have just as good of a time and laugh and joke and can even be affectionate. But then it's always soured a little with these negative thoughts. And now when we're apart, only negative thoughts fill my mind. And I've been so trained to stop myself from saying "I love you" (so as to not put him on the spot), that I never even have the urge to say it anymore. It doesn't even occur to me to say.
He wants to be with me, he doesn't want to break up, and he says he misses me a lot now, but I don't feel like I miss him anymore. Those happy pleasure centers in my brain no longer light up when I think about him. I don't feel lucky anymore.
I'm so sad because he was my everything, because I remember how hard I used to love him and how lucky I felt.
Someone with experience, please tell me, will I ever get that back? That passion and adoration for him? That feeling of "oh my god, I just LOVE this man!"..? Or is this a sign to move on?
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