I'm tryingvmy best to get over TTC but sitting here listening to these lady talk about there pregnancies and I think of what I don't have and what I want so badly. Yeah don't cry any more when aunt flo shows her ugly ass face but I do get back in that state of depression.

Yeah me and my SO don't talk about kids anymore but it don't stop me from feeling like I'm missing out on the joys of motherhood. I'm missing out on the love my child could give me. I'm missing out of the joy of feeling my child growing inside of me. Missing the joy of my SO loving on me more cause he knows that his baby girl is growing inside of me.

I'm missing out on the crazy food craving. I'm just missing out on so much with not being a mother. And I want it but I have to get it out of my mind I'm just aunt not mommy