Ahhhh 6 dpo and want to test so bad

I have 1 son who is almost 10 ive had 7 mc and 1 ectopic ive bn thru brain surgery for a pituitary gland tumor that was makin my levels go crazy then went thru uterine surgery for a deviated uterus and finally trying again please i want this bfp so bad that i dont want to wait to test today i just fell off and had a bit of pinchy feeling idk wat to think or do to keep me from testing

I caved and tested this morning but now im stuck cuz i think i see a line but im not sure what do yall think? Its the green test