Bear with me ladies...I'm extremely emotional. Sorry for the rant but thanks for letting me vent.

So we lost our boy at 19 weeks and I "delivered" him and naturally passed the rest. Tons of blood work and ultrasounds later we were in the clear and then a positive pregnancy test before I even had af. Yes my levels had bottomed out so this was a new pregnancy. Or so we thought. Heartbeat and sac clear and then the next week gone. I am experiencing the worst cramps and pain of my life. D&C done a few weeks ago so this is the first af since the two losses. I hate seeing all of my friends "accidentally pregnant" and one getting an abortion when I would do ANYTHING to have my babies back and have more! Ugh! Struggling right now. Husband is super loving and understanding but I'm a mess.