Confused&rant with So but we have 2 kids

" I'm sorry things can't work out I'm just a lost soul who is destined to die alone "

 this is right after my son cried his eyes out for his daddy n I told him see what u did to my baby how heartless u are n he took off .... At 530-540pm so I cried with my baby his mom was mad n upset at him later on I was watching a movie n hear him come home it's 1030pm already I got up n left n my baby went to lay with his daddy. In the living so I went the room on the phone with my friend telling her what going on n I made a choice to leave n he comes in n says what's the smell ... I said I put lotion on u bought me for Mother's Day then asked " who U talking to " I said my friend Mariah " n he got mad n was going to grab his pillow n blanket to sleep in the living room n it's 1am/2 I grabbed my son put him in his bed I grab my so blanket n throw it on him ( because he never took them or of the room) so 5 mins later he comes in asking can he have a pillow I said sure or u can lay here just lay on ur side n don't touch me ... He looked sad but i was like oh well so he in bed while I'm watching tv n curled up in a ball all sad n says " night " I said oh night n turned my bak out of no where he hugs me kissing my neck sayinf  "I fucken love u I'm sorry bla bla " I pushed him n said what are u doing n he cuddles on me I'm laying there like wtf ? Next day I asked him  " were u high or drunk or somethings " he said no ... I said what was that's I wanted to be alone he said I kno but I had talked to my friend he I want is to try n if it works okay if not okay but I said I been telling u this for 2 weeks why now ... Then I said let me guess that stupid bitch didn't want u huh he said I didn't talk to her and I was like really??? We started talking more N i asked again did I talk to her he said yes she said to work it out with u ...  I said u lied u just told me u didn't talk to her anyways I been stuck thinking and hate he texts on his phone in front of me he changed the password on his phone n says he not talk or seeing her but it's like how do I kno ... Trust is broken and my heart hurts and seems like he trying but idk the trust is super broken and he had asked me on Monday " what happenes if it don't work I said what really ? Why I putting dought for in they we will cross that bridge when we get there or ur saying it cause u want her... He said no I'm thinking sure whatever dude .... So advice feed back pleas n no bashing and the part is in love him a lot but now I'm already question it my self.....