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So frustrating!

Gigi • Sun, May 22

I didn't know who to talk to, so I'm here and I'm hoping that you will forgive me for ranting.

AF is due tomorrow and not only am I not having any early signs of pregnancy or PMS, I'm actually starting to have the opposite of any and all possible pregnancy symptoms.

My boobs are actually shrinking, nipples look lighter in color and smaller, I'm losing more hair, my back hurts less than normal, My stomachs feels like it's getting flatter and emptier...etc. I feel like my body is raging war on pregnancy, it's actually getting less fertile by the minute...hahaha! I'm showing anti-pregnancy symptoms!

I'm sure I'm out for this month and I'm really just getting so fed up that I want to call it quits and just accept that I will never be a mother.

I don't know how people deal with this for years. I've now been TTC 18 months and I feel it taking its toll on my self esteem. I'm not even sure I will be able to be happy if I get pregnant because I will keep worrying about miscarriages knowing that we are almost working against fate. It's sad. I feel as if a baby is just not in the plan for us and every attempt will fail because it's just a hopeless battle.

I'm just feeling awful.

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