Giving Birth to a White Baby?! 😱

Question

Last night I woke up in a cold sweat from the strangest dream.

I was in a delivery room surrounded by my dutiful hubby and a team of frantic doctors. Apparently I was pregnant (not current the case) and ready to push out our firstborn.

After pushing for what seemed like forever, I finally gave birth. I should have been thrilled, but the baby they handed me was WHITE!!!

Like blonde haired, blue eyed and Caucasian White. I woke up in a panic.

Why would I have a dream like that??

Background: I'm Black. My husband is White. I love babies of all colors, genders, ethnicities, religions, etc. Plus I've never been preoccupied with how our kids will look.

So what gives? Any ideas? Do other biracial TTCers have these dreams?

Answer

I am black and SO is white. When our son was born he came out so white. I was like great I worked so hard for him and he looks nothing like me. Well now he is a perfect mix of both of us. It's just weird to think of having a baby that looks nothing like you at all.

Answer

I'm white and my SO is black and our child actually is white, he has the slightest hint of color to his skin in the sun, but next to me he is as pale as I am. People stare all the time, but if they would look past the skin tones, they'd see him and dad are spitting images of each other minus color 💙

Answer

I worried during my pregnancy with my second son that he would look more white. I am white and Native and pale, SO is black and light complected. Both my SO and I are several shades lighter than our family members and both of us have been picked on by family for it (he gets called high yellow and my gma goes on about how I need to tan because I look like a cancer patient, I also get told I'm a vampire) so I worried if our baby was super light, he might not be treated the same. I was hoping our baby would be a shade in between both sides. My son so far is light and has blue eyes but I've noticed he does favor both sides like a chameleon and both sides of our family have accepted him.

Answer

I had a dream like this. Except my baby was only looked Asian and very pale. The doctors tried to hand me the baby and i pushed the baby away and wouldn't take it. I woke directly up. At the time I was actually pregnant with our son. I told my husband about it and he asked me was I afraid that my baby wouldn't look Black enough?  I said no I really didn't care how our future kids looked and I really don't. Few months later I went on to give birth to our son and he looked only Asian. Now he is older and still looks mostly Asian unless we let his hair grow out. He doesn't look anything like me or my family but it's okay. I love him regardless. I think sometimes dreams can be a warning of what's to comeor maybe it's something that you  subconsciously think about. Dreams can also be the exact opposite of what will happen sometimes. I had a dream that I was pregnant with a girl and i was actually pregnant with a boy.

Answer

First - you had that dream probably because your husband is white....
Second - can you please just flip your post around for a moment and imagine it was a white lady saying ....
"OMG I gave birth and my baby was BLACK!!" (Like it was so horrifying)
Like wouldn't you think she was the most horrible woman ever ???
I mean - I don't actually think you are horrible for feeling that way, I think it's perfectly normal and understandable to want to have your babies look like you.
BUT it really does highlight the double standard around what white people vs black people are allowed to say, right?

Answer

Sometimes I worry about how ppl will treat me if my child looks nothing like me. I live in the south and I hear horror stories all the times about black women disciplining their white appearing children and being approached by random white ppl trying to step in and save the kid thinking the mom is the babysitter or something being too involved. Or saying oh how cute and asking where the child's mother is. It happened to my mom and both my parents are mostly black. I just came out much lighter than my mom and had straighter hair as a baby. I think ppl r used to seeing a white mother with a child of another race because there have been so many adoptions that way, whereas you don't often see a black family adopt a child of another race. It is more of a concern for how ppl will treat me and my child. I worry they will treat us as if we are not related. Also I know biracial children who are already being taught somewhere at 3-4 years old that they are better than their black parents because they don't look as black or black at all. I hate that, and I have even heard a child tell her mother that her mothers hair or skin was ugly and hers was nice. It's like who told her that? Someone did. I don't think it's racist to acknowledge the real concerns that a black woman has with having a white child. It's different from a white person with a black child. At least where I live.

Answer

I had a dream I had a white baby once! It meant nothing! Hahahah(: my son is light skinned but you can still see the color in him.

Answer

this actually happened to me in real life!!!  I have two kids from my first marriage and they are half Filipino and I'm white.. my two kids look super Asian.   they both came out with darker skin and a full head of black hair and dark eyes.   my current bf (also Filipino)  and I had a baby and she came out with white skin,  light eyes and basically bald... a spattering if blond hair!!!  I was shocked and didn't believe she was my baby... my babies don't look white lol I'm over it now,  genes are funny and unpredictable.

Answer

I'm white and my husband is black and Latino. I was surprised when our daughter was born with strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, and skin as pale as me. 
It could happen 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

Im black and my husband is white. Your dream was my happy reality. My daughter came out and still is white with red hair. She is absolutely the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen.

Giving Birth to a White Baby?! 😱

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