Selfish mommy

I'm 38 +5 today. I had an apt and my dr didn't even check to see if I was dilated. I know in other countries that's normal but for my practice it's totally abnormal. I mean I am 2 days away from 39 weeks 🙄. I know it seems selfish and silly but I seriously don't know if I can handle going even one day over my due date. I'm 100% miserable. I have been getting 2-3 hours of sleep at night tops. I'm bipolar and of course I stopped my meds when I got pregnant so I wouldn't hurt my baby. It's been hard up tell now but now it's has gone from hard to nearly impossible. Sleep is very important for my mood stability and the constant contractions with no progression is sooooo hard. I just want my baby to be here. I asked today if they would at least schedule an induction (even if it needed to be after my due date) because I feel like I can do it if there is an end in sight but they wouldn't even discuss it. Doesn't what I want matter at all?? Please no comments about baby needing to grow and all that. I'm full term and miserable and I know it sounds selfish but I'm a small girl and she's facing my back and I have back contractions all night long. It hurts to sit or lay down because it feels like I'm sitting on her head or her head. I have been throwing up at least once a day and constant dierhhia. 😭