Cheating Husband

Okay ladies. To some, this may sound stupid. But, I need some advice... someone with experience. Almost 2 months ago, I found out that my husband was having an affair. It was more than a one night stand. It was an ongoing affair. He took this woman to longhorn, the movies, took her out for breakfast, met her family and everything. I suspected something was going on, as this happened once before, when we had only been married 1 year. I seen the warning signs again. Not talking, horrible sex life, leaving for 5-6 hours during the night (he works night shift)... I never could catch him though. Long story short, things started catching up with him and a random number texted him and basically scared him into telling me. He told me because he said that he didn't want me to find out by a random text message like I did the last time. I asked him if he wanted me or her, and he stated he didn't know. I wanted our marriage to work SO badly!! Two days later, there was a work gathering at his job... this woman was there. For 2 1/2 hours, I had to see this woman... I didn't say a word. My husband didn't speak to me, he didn't acknowledge me, he didn't even look at me.. when I got there, I approached him and hugged him as I said "hey baby"... he kept talking and took a step to the side... away from me. He did not even wear his wedding ring that night (he didn't know I was going to be there). Hardest thing I've EVER had to do was to look at her all night and not say a word. Fast forward... we've been seperated since that night...for three weeks I BEGGED my husband to work things out!! All he could talk about was how we "never connected", "Hes never been happy, he just hid it", "he felt cheated in life by marrying me" and how "beautiful" she was and "how much they connected" and "how much he loved her"... For anyone that was ever around us... not connecting and not being happy.... are two things nobody would believe.. not even me. I was happy!! He was such a great man!! We had so many good memories together. We were the couple that everyone wanted to be. I thought our marriage was pretty amazing! But apparently it wasnt... he just hid it. On top of that... my husband and I have tried for 4 years to have children... both of the women he had an affair with... were pregnant. I cant help but ask myself if me not being able to have children is the reason he stepped out.... But after multiple days of hearing that crap over and over, and coming to the realization that our entire marriage was a lie... I lost my mind. Before this.. I have never drank alcohol at all! But one day..n I lost it. I got off work early, went to the gas station and got the biggest alcoholic drink they had, went and got my handgun and went to the park with the intentions of doing something very stupid!! And if it weren't for the grace of God... I would have. I decided then that I was done. He wasn't worth it! A week and a half ago... I done basically the same thing... after finding out more info, I drank until I passed out, with the intentions of taking a bottle of Xanax. After realizing that I was not blowing smoke, and I actually WASNT COMING BACK... now all of sudden he's so sorry.. he didn't mean anything he said.. and he will do anything to make our marriage work. I know this sounds absolutely crazy after everything I just explained... But I still love him with every fiber of my being!! Part of me actually wants to make this work.... But then the other part of me says "Are you freaking stupid?!?!?! If you take him back... you will just be back in the same position in a couple years!!". Has anyone else been in a situation similar? Did you work it out? Did you leave? Do you regret anything about your decision? How did you make your decision?