Confused...hate waiting for a confirmation of miscarriage
So three days ago my nightmare started. I went to the bathroom...very very light pink bleeding. Second day heavier but still light and only when I wiped. Third day consistent bleeding and small blood clots. At this point I'm convinced I'm having a miscarriage. I went to the er. Have a urinalysis, blood work, pelvic exam, and transvaginal ultrasound. At this point I was 6 weeks 5 days since LMP. Cervix is still closed. Something showed in my uterus still. HCG levels were at 548. Diagnosed with a threatened miscarriage but no definitive answer. Have to wait two days and go to Dr. again to have blood work done again. The wait is hell. I go between feelings of acceptance of the inevitable, confusion of whether there is even a chance I'm still pregnant and if so what the hell is my body doing, anger for having to wait for answers, anger at myself, hurt because at moments I feel broken, hurt for what I feel is definitely a loss, sad because I'm away from my fiance visiting family when all of this has happened, and most of the time just physically and emotionally drained with a feeling of vacancy. I go to Dr for more blood work. Hopefully I have an answer for sure tomorrow, but deep down I know I'm miscarrying, and almost afraid of hearing I'm not...because does that then mean there is something wrong with me. This is my first pregnancy and it has been terrifying the last few days. Has anyone ever gone through something like this?