Needing help and advice

My man and I have been together for three years, with two short break-ups in between. We again just split. We both decided enough was enough and threw in the towel. Our relationship had been bit turbulent but we always seemed to pull through because we knew we loved each other to make things works. He at times could be emotionally abusive and our communication was never very good. We talked about going to therapy and all other options and decided to just give up. I can't help but feel things can change and we can come back from this too. I have terrible anxiety about what is going to happen next. All I want to do is call him and just hear his voice to know he is ok. Can things ever change? Is all love lost so easily? Is he mourning the way that I am? I have the BEST support system a girl could ask for, but it's not the same without him. 💔😧😭